stability:

neyruto:

i sat behind this guy on a laptop in the school cafe and watched his completely straight face as he typed ROFL!!!!!!!! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!! he didnt even blink

if you were sitting behind him how did you watch his face?

image

72,825 notes

nicosdisangelic:

New Republican ad came out today which gave me the best reaction image I’ve ever seen.

image

78,157 notes

facts-i-just-made-up:

masterracecurbstomp:

facts-i-just-made-up:

facts-i-just-made-up:

The full set of “Steal her look” spoofs. Please do be sure to pick up a copy of that book

For the day crowd

I can straight up buy a crocodile from a zoo?

Yeah but they don’t just sell to anyone, You gotta know the secret code:

  • "Crocodile" is "Jock Strap"
  • "Hey buddy" is "In the name of"
  • "I gotta buy" is "Borscht"
  • "One" is "My Own"
  • "I’m on the level" is "I’ve vomited"
  • "I know the code" is "The Dark Lord Satan"

So the complete sentence to buy a Crocodile at a willing Zoo is, “In the name of the Dark Lord Satan I’ve vomited borscht into my own jock strap!”

Just go to any zoo and shout this code, and someone will know the deal and get you your crocodile.

3,826 notes

kinkstertime:

This whole bit is made all the funnier by knowing that all of the guards were just random extras who weren’t told what was going to happen only that they weren’t allowed laugh at any cost as they wouldn’t be payed if they did.

(Source: betterlucknext)

116,620 notes